Lizard Lips
by Gregg Landsman
Summary: A little Quasi-fanfic, the Guardian Garr and Lightbend(my original character), have to stop a rampaging Brood in Merrick, New York.


Gregg Landsman

Writing and Marketing the Short Story

****

LIZARD-LIPS

He waits on line, in front of a frazzled mother with two screaming little girls, behind an indecisive teenager he's nick-named 'Lethargic Lad.' Thankfully, the Lad isn't too far off from finishing the seemingly never-ending transaction with the young, female, and oh-so-sprightly Blockbuster video clerk(ess), and soon he'll be on his way to picking up his charge, getting in the car, and getting back to the blissful insanity of New York City.

He scratches an itch under his clean-shaven chin, chewing on the right side of his inner cheek, as Lethargic Lad finally, thankfully, grabs his bag of tapes(at least two of which are probably porn), kisses the clerk(ess) on the cheek, and (in an act completely opposite to the character he's shown so far) runs out.

_Ahhhh-ha!_, the little, sadistic voice inside his head announces, _That's why he was taking too damn long! He's shtupping the clerk!_

He shakes his head, banging the underside of his palm against the side of his head, as if to force the little voice out of his ear.

He sighs, stepping forward, running his hand through the side of his short-cropped brown hair, streaks of grey running through it, counting the three tapes he's taking out for tonight. An action movie, a comedy classic, and a romantic comedy. Because Naomi's a sucker for that sort of thing.

"Hi, welcome to Blockbuster Merrick," the clerk(ess) says, smiling widely, showing what's no doubt the result of several years with braces and dental surgery, "How may I help you?"

"Just taking these tapes out," he responds, taking his wallet from his pocket after laying the tapes on the deep-blue, freshly washed counter, seeing the little smiley face on the stand alone display, "It's under Hunter. Naomi Hunter. I'm Frank."

Before she can go into the customary tirade about need for identification, he fishes out the blue and white laminated card, gently handing it to her.

She takes the small, handheld laser-light scanner, quickly scanning all three tapes, the total bill of $9.20 coming up on the monitor.

"Nine twenty, Mr. Hunter.", she says.

He nods, taking out a ten dollar bill from his wallet and handing it to her.

"And..._Star Wars episode 15_ is due back thursday," she says, putting the three tapes into a bag, "_Mother_ is due back saturday, as is _The Princess Bride_."

He nods, taking the bag....when he sees a young, late-teens boy, running past the window. Screaming.

Followed by a girl around the same age, also screaming.

He cocks his head, slightly, putting the tapes on the eggshell-colored counter behind the clerk(ess)...when the entire store begins to rumble. Followed by a roar. A high-pitched, angry and painfully familiar roar.

He pushes open the door, peaking his head out.

And sees a forty foot tall, golden-scaled, silver-breasted, pearl horned dragon standing over the Associated Food Market two blocks down.

Fifteen minutes earlier.

Mari Hershing Light, a sixteen year old, blonde-haired, green-eyed girl, waits silently outside the sushi bar as the door opens.

She straightens out her ankle-length skirt, muttering to herself as she ties her sneakers.

"Ready to go, kid?"

He bolts up as Frank walks out, putting away his wallet.

"Sure.", she responds, her eyes completely unfocused on him, "Oh...wait. There's something I wanted to see."

He raises an eyebrow, following her gaze...and sees the young man, a high-school senior he remembers, walking past, into the supermarket one block down.

"Ah..." he says, smiling, "Got it. Adam, right?"

She fidgets, biting the inside of her cheek as she folds her hands.

He nods, patting her on the shoulder.

"I'll be in the video store," he says, "And you meet me there when you're done, alright?"

"Alright," she responds, smiling, "Thanks, Frank!"

She breaks into a sprint, disappearing through the door to the market within seconds.

He sighs, sliding his hands into his khaki pockets, and skips over, across the small sidestreet, to the Blockbuster at the center of the shopping center.

In retrospect, that was probably the stupidest thing Frank's ever done. He drew the short straw this day, so he had to take care of Mari, the boss's adopted daughter. So he knew about a pretty good sushi place in Merrick, a small little suburb on Long Island, and she agreed to go there. Mainly because a boy who went to her private school lived on LI during the weekends. In Merrick. A boy she had an obvious crush on...and she was completely incapable of seeing what sort of a two-timing, anal-retentive pissant he is. But Frank never considered it. He just wanted to get something to eat.

He was playing right into her hands.

She follows the tell-tale trail of squeaks from his sneakers, through the supermarket and out the back door, smiling widely as she considers what her initial romantic overtures should be like.

She considers herself attractive...if sprightly...and probably overweight, probably has pimples developing where she can't see it-

She stops, taking a deep breath, suppressing the adolescent paranoia. The 'charming self-hatred', as her best friend, Alex, calls it...

And considering that Alex will probably be laughing that nice little ass of his off tonight if she doesn't do this, she summons up her resolve, striding through the well-lit dairy section of the white-tile floored supermarket, out the back door...and hears two people kissing.

She tip-toes to her left, squinting her eyes as she hides behind a florescant green, grill-plated trash recycler, blocking out the sounds of the fusion motors as cars drive in and out of the yellow-paved parking lot nearby.

She peeks out from behind the hiding place...and sees Adam.

Kissing another girl.

Another girl from her school.

A brunette, prissy, upper-class bitch who's been tormenting her ever since she enrolled....

The metal rends under Mari's fingers, her teeth grining as her green eyes flash, slightly.

She steps out, tearing off a plate of metal from the recycler as she clears her throat, getting their attention.

"_Adam!_" she screams, Adam turning and backing away slightly.

She tries to step forward, finding herself unable to move, her entire body shaking in rage, in fury...

And she feels something beginning to snap.

"Jesus, Mari!", he says, rolling his eyes, "You followed me all the way _home?!_ What are you, some sort of psycho?!"

"I....I..."

"Forget it.", the other girl says, barely suppressing a chuckle, "Her daddy's probably got a satellite tracking you."

Mari's face goes ashen, her teeth gritting behind her lips, her hands clenching and unclenching as he laughs, extending his arm to the other girl.

"She's a freak, just like I said," the other girl says, taking Adam's arm in an overly manicured hand, "C'mon. Her daddy'll pick her up later."

They turn, laughing, Mari standing there, shaking, looking at her hands, clenching her eyes shut to ward off the tears...

And something snaps.

_Thu-thump._

They stop, looking to each other.

_Thu-thump._

They turn at the sound of the echoing heartbeat.

_Thu-thump._

And they realize the heartbeat is from Mari.

_Thu-thump._

Her fingers extend into talons.

_Thu-thump._

Her toes extend into claws.

_Thu-thump._

Wings burst from her back, folding out to their full length, glistening in the sunlight.

_Thu-thump._

A tail smashes into the pavement, the claws digging into the gravel as she grits her teeth, clenching her eyes at the pain.

_Thu-thump._

Her body grows, her skin and clothing replaced by golden scales, silver plates running down her neck, torso, and tail.

_Thu-thump._

Her neck lengthens, pearl white horns thrusting out of the back of her head.

_Thu-thump._

Her hair retracts into her gold-scaled scalp, her face lengthening into a defined, magnificent snout, her eyes opening to reveal pupils slitted like a cat's and glowing green irises, her mouth opening to cry at the pain....

Which becomes a rumbling, anger-filled roar of Ascension.

She looks down, her mind consumed with rage...and sees the object of her rage.

Tall. Handsome. Dark hair.

And he has _betrayed_ her.

She snarls, baring long, razor-sharp teeth, her nostrils beginning to glow with flame. Which is when he backs away, quickly, and breaks into a run, screaming in abject terror, followed by the girl.

She rears up to her full forty-foot height, climbing onto the roof of the market.

She throws her head back, roaring, letting her rage echo throughout the entire suburb, and leaps off the roof in pursuit.

Frank pulls out a cell phone from his pocket as the dragon walks by, watching as she stomps around, growling loudly. He flips it open, tapping the green button repeatedly until the small grey screen lights up.

"_Good morning, Frank Hunter,_" the chipper british voice says from the phone, "_It is September 17th, 2054. You have 17 unread messages-_"

"Dial work. _Now._"

He puts the phone to his ear, tapping his foot as it dials. This isn't his phone. He doesn't believe in cell phones. If he wanted people to be able to get a hold of him every moment of every day, he'd get a leesh and be done with it. It's a lot more honest and a whole lot cheaper.

But, Naomi has a cell phone. Two cell phones, in fact. And she lends him one for just these sorts of situations.

"_Doctor Hunter. How can I help you?_" the bored woman on the other end of the line says.

"Hiya, Honey-bunch."

"_Frank?_"

"Naomi, I've got good news and I've got bad news."

She pauses. These situations happen often enough with them that she's learned what to ask first.

"_What's the good news?_"

"I got you _Princess Bride._"

"_Oh, Frank, that's so sweet,_" she responds, her english-accented voice a bit more chipper, "_And...what's the bad news?_"

"Mari's having a baaaad day."

Silence. Complete dead silence. He takes the phone from his ear, shaking it slightly. And puts it back up to his ear as he hears a chair crash and hands slam against the desk.

"_Bl--dy ---kin---ll!_"

"Turn off the speaker phone, Hon."

"_Frank, describe her._"

"About thirty five to forty feet tall on her hind legs, gold scales, big wings, normal tail and looking really angry."

"_A rage transformation. Damn it. I'll tell the others._"

"Fine. And while you're at it, tell Garr to get his rocky ass down here _en rapido._ I'll see if I can calm her down."

"_Alright. Frank, be careful._"

"I love you to, Naomi. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

He closes the phone, sliding it into his pocket.

"Great. Just like babysitting the Incredible Hulk."

He pulls out a small, glowing cube from his pocket, pressing one of the sides. A holograph matrix generator. A present from fellow superhero and geek extraor- dinaire(hey, every superteam needs one) Kenneth Lowgun. In layman's terms, it makes him look human. In scientific terms, he can't explain it, since he has no idea how it works.

The cube ceases glowing, Frank's form liquifying. And reshaping into a six foot tall, humanoid chameleon in Frank's clothes.

"I have to remember to get an ass opening on these pants," he mutters, turning about and seeing the seat of his pants ripping as he swishes about his long, yellow-green tail, "Ah, well. I'll stop by Gap on my way home."

He squats down, a quick thrust of his legs sending him high into the air, bouncing off the Blockbuster canopy and onto the roof. Mari, at this point, it still stomping around the parking lot, people running in all directions from her. He watches as she grabs a UPS truck, pushing it to the side, the driver jumping out and running to the ice cream parlor at the end of the shopping center.

He thinks it's just a rampage. Just her getting pissed off and smashing stuff, which is very much within the normal behavior patterns for a teenager. Which is when he sees that she's actually _chasing_ someone. That kid she's got the hots for. Adam.

"Poor kid," he says, smiling widely, "Normally, I'd let her have him. But looks like my damn conscience's back again."

He shrugs, and starts walking to the edge of the shopping center roof.

Adam runs from the parking lot to the fueling station across the street, tripping on an air hose. He turns about, backing away...and screams as Mari's massive, scaled hand pins him to the ground. The two stare at each other for a long, tense moment.

Until a dark stain spreads across the crotch of his pants. Mari looks down at the sudden stench, and then back at him...and Adam begins sobbing, loudly, pleading with her not to hurt him. She rears back, baring her teeth, roaring as she snaps out her jaw to its full extension to bring down on him.

With a yell, Frank makes a running leap off the shopping center, landing on Mari's neck, locking his knees around her throat as he tries to grab her jaw.

"Calm down, girl!" he yells, "You know yuppie just gives you indigestion!"

The dragon's eyes glow bright green as she begins bucking wildly, backing into the parking lot and crushing a VW Beatle. A quick thrash of her neck tosses Frank into the air, the chameleon flipping about, leaping off a minivan and landing on his feet.

He rolls out of the way as a massive, scaled fist hits where he was, the impact shockwave knocking him onto his side and causing cars to jump, car alarms blaring all over the lot.

"Mari, calm down!" he yells, climbing to his feet, "The guy's not worth it! I've had bad break ups, to! It gets better!"

He dives, shrieking, as she lunges at him, jaws snapping. The teeth barely miss him, snapping off one of his shoes and ripping a telephone booth from the ground. With a low, rumbling growl, she rises, turning back to the fueling station.

And roars as an amber blur slams into her jaw, snapping it to the side. The blur strikes again, and then slams into the underside of her jaw, snapping it up and causing the dragon to weakly groan before collapsing onto the parking lot, landing in between the rows of cars.

The blur lands right in front of Frank, forming into a nine foot tall, amber skinned gargoyle with a defined snout, glowing blue eyes, and a crimson tunic. The gargoyle simply stairs at the presently unconscious dragon, not paying any heed as Adam sprints from the gas station to Blockbuster, disappearing through the door and the crowd watching from behind the glass.

"Garr!" Frank yells, walking over, "Man, ain't your stony mug a sight for sore eyes-"

"Lightbend," Garr interrupts, "How long has Mari been like this?"

"Few minutes. You made good time."

The ground shakes as a slow, loud _boom_ passes them over.

"You made _really_ good time," Frank continues, "So, we done?"

As if on cue, the dragon's eyes open, her claws digging into the ground as she rises to all fours. She roars, walking over the cars as she begins to grow. Her size has tripled by the time she walks onto Merrick Ave, cars stopping and their drivers running as Mari passes over.

"I should learn to shut up, shouldn't I?" Frank asks.

"Yes."

Frank places his hands on his hips, narrowing his eyes.

"Alright," he says, "What do we do?"

"We see if we can reason with her," Garr intones, tugging at his belt, "I thought she had better control than this."

He shrugs out his massive wings, sloping them back.

"Hold up, Rocky," Frank says, raising his hands, "Before we get any deeper into this hole, explain to me how this works."

Garr rumbles under his breath, folding his massive, rocky arms and staring Frank down.

"Explain what?"

"Well, since this is my _first_ time babysitting the star of Jurassic Park 5, I really think it would be a good idea to explain to me and our viewer audience just how Mari's powers work. And, most importantly, how her getting burned turns her into the rampaging she-beast!"

"Very well. Mari is Brood."

"Yeah."

"And the Brood, in case you do not know," Garr continues, "Are an advanced race. A very advanced race, by standards of evolution. What we are dealing with is a self-defense mechanism. When a Brood is harmed, emotionally or physically to a great degree, their bodies will grow and change. I cannot pretend to know where this extra mass or where the original idea for this shape came from. I only know she has a very thin grasp on her sanity. She is only concerned with venting rage."

Frank nods, raising an eyebrow as he processing that tidbit of information.

"Well. So...we're dealing with an andrenaline rush?"

"No. A temper tantrum."

They turn as Mari climbs atop the Dime Savings Bank across the street, straddling the white-bricked building. She throws her head back, roaring, people screaming as they run from the bank and to safety across the street. Mari climbs off the building, walking southward, bellowing all the way.

"Riiiiight."

He breaks off into a sprint after Mari, Garr shaking his head and flying after him.

People begin running in fear as the gold-scaled dragon stomps down the street, no one noticing that she's not going anywhere near the sidewalk or that she's purposely avoiding the civilians, taking long steps to ensure she doesn't step on anyone. Of course, her roaring and smashing her tail into the pavement could be one of the reasons they don't notice.

Frank notes this as he hops off the roof of an SUV, leaping off of car after car as he pursues her. Maybe Garr's wrong and she _does_ have some self-control left. Which wouldn't be too far fetched, because what Mari's doing now really reminds him of that tantrum Naomi's daughter threw when she failed her driving test. Minus the transformation into Gojira.

"Outta the way! Outta the way!" he yells, leaping to the ground and breaking into a sprint, leaping over one of the running crowds and landing on her back.

She turns her head to him, glaring at him with dark, glowing eyes. Her hind legs lift, a sinking feeling coming over Frank as the dragon bucks, tossing him up and narrowly catching her tail.

"Hah! I got ya!..." he starts, and then realizes something, "Oh....SHIT!"

Mari begins slamming her tail into the ground. Or, more precisely, starts slamming Frank on her tail into the ground, into the pavement, and onto the roofs of cars. She whips her tail forward, Frank letting go and flying over her, spinning about and snapping into a jacknife position.

_Okay,_ he thinks, _Alright, this is good. I'll do a double flip, off the building, off the telephone pole, touch that Hum-Vee and leap to safe-_

Her tail slams into his back, slamming him into the ground, making an indentation at his point of impact.

-_ty?_

He groans, pulling his right arm out from under him and laying flat on the ground. He digs his fingers into the pavement, trying to lift himself up...when her foot slams onto him, driving him into the ground, Frank moaning as most of his bones are broken. His next moan is cut short as her hind foot drives him further into the pavement, Mari roaring as she walks past, turning down one of the sidestreets and disappearing from view.

He simply looks up as a crowd of people run screaming from the street, trampling him further, cars driving after them and over him. And he simply gives off a low, muffled swear as he sees a commandeered street-cleaner heading his way.

He's still lying there, battered but surprisingly clean, as Garr lands, walking over to him.

"Frank?" he asks, "Are you hurt?"

Frank digs his fingers into the ground, slowly rising.

"Little power of mine," he says, "I've got the durability of a cartoon character. Any non-penetrative wounds heal almost instantly."

He groans, climbing to his feet, patting the side of his head with his palm and forcing the rocks out of his ears.

"Alright, that didn't work," he says, "Any suggestions?"

"We kill her," Garr states, "A Brood returns to normal from their dragon-form when mortally wounded. I've faced enough of her people to know how to deal with them."

"Yeah, but we've got civilians to deal with. It's a high-level miracle no one's even been hurt, but if we turn this into a full-fledged melee, I can guarantee it'll get bloody."

Garr scowls, folding his arms, leaning down and overshadowing Frank as the lizard-man works a kink out of his neck, groaning loudly.

"Lightbend," he growls, "I have far more experience in these matters than you. I _know_ how to handle the Brood."

"You've never handled them in a suburb, Garr," Frank responds, standing on his tip toes and coming up to roughly Garr's mid-chest, "We need a plan."

"And do you have one?"

Frank smiles, beaming.

"Don't I always?"

He arches his back, slapping his knees as he turns and looks up the street.

"Yeah," he continues, "I've got a plan that's pretty much fool proof. We get it done, we get Mari back to normal, and then we go home and hope they allow us to set foot on Long Island again."

He raises a finger, supporting himself with his tail like a tripod.

"But first," he says, "I need to _sleep_."

And with that, he collapses to the ground, groaning and covering his head with his hands.

Garr slowly walks over, rolling his eyes, and grabs Frank's tail. He slopes back his wings, and shoots into the air, dragging Frank the entire way.

_Ding-dong_.

"Hi, welcome to Blockbust-"

The clerk(ess) continues smiling sweetly as she watches the six-foot tall lizard in slightly tattered clothes walk through, followed by a nine-foot tall gargoyle who barely squeezes through the door. The gargoyle walks out in front of the counter, gripping his belt and slowly looking over the store.

"I am Garr," he announces, his rumbling voice shaking the tapes on the shelves, "And I am looking for a young man who spurned the affections of Mari Light."

He turns as a girl snaps her fingers, catching his attention.

"He's in the back," the brunette girl says, snapping her gum, "Crapping himself."

Garr nods, bowing slightly, and walks down the aisle to the back, pine wood door.

The lizard walks over, leaning on the counter.

"Hi, I was in here earlier," he says, "Name's Frank Hunter."

He doesn't turn as he hears the wood door slamming onto the floor, followed by a young man screaming in abject horror.

"I got a question," he says, "Do you have any movies by the Marx Brothers?"

The screaming becomes louder and higher pitched, followed by the sound of crunching plaster and shattering porcelein. The clerk(ess) absently looks on as customers begin going about their business, the screaming dying down.

"Um...I can check," she says, "Any movies in particular?"

"_Duck Soup, A Night at the Opera,_" he responds, "While you're there, could you look up this movie called _High Crusade?_"

The screaming resumes, now closer in pitch to the sound of a horror movie actress, as Garr walks back down the aisle. Frank turns, seeing his ally dragging Adam by the leg, walking out the door.

"Say what, I'll check back later," Frank says, rubbing his chin, "Oh, and those movies in the bag are mine. I'll be back soon."

He runs out, the bell ringing again as the door closes.

Garr firmly holds Adam in place as they stand at the corner of Merrick Ave and the shopping center, Frank walking up to them, holding a small rod in his hand.

"I had to get it from my glove compartment," he says, "I always keep one on me for emergencies."

He presses a button, a blade of blue-white, flowing energy lancing out. Garr looks from the blade back to Frank, grimacing.

"You know how to use one of those?" he asks.

"I've got the training, Garr. I'm not just comic relief."

He closes the blade, flipping it around in his hand.

"So...you _are_ aware the plan doesn't involve killing him, right?" Frank asks, "We use him as bait."

Garr scowls, folding his wings around him.

"This is a spurned teenage girl, Lightbend. Not an angry pit bull."

"Spend some more time with the family, Garr. There's not much of a difference."

He hooks the rod to his belt, closing his eyes. He fades away, first into an outline, and then completely invisible. Garr turns back to Adam as the footsteps echo up the wall of the nearby wall, stopping at the roof.

"Dragon!" Garr bellows, "Brood, show yourself! I have the one you seek!"

_Thoom._

The ground shakes. Bits of asphalt knocked loose during the dragon's initial rampage jumps. Something rumbles nearby. And the stain on Adam's pants grows larger.

Garr looks down at the stain, his snout twisting into a snarl.

"You disgust me," he growls.

A gold-scaled, clawed foot slams down in front of them. Standing before them, now nearly fifty meters tall, is the dragon. Garr notes her wings have become larger, more edged. An extra pair of horns are coming from her head. She also seems even angrier than before.

Garr grabs Adam, lifting him up and off his feet, the boy shrieking in terror.

"Dragon! He is yours!"

Mari snarls, displaying her massive, honed teeth, eyes glowing brightly. She roars in rage, lunging forward and right at them.

With a cry of, "I REGRET NOTHING!" Frank appears out of thin air, leaping off the building and right at the dragon's neck. The energy blade ignites, Frank flipping it around in his hands as he lands on the back of her neck. And drives it right in.

The dragon shrieks in pain, buckling wildly, sending Frank flying off her, screaming. Garr drops Adam, reaching out and catching Frank before he can slam into the pavement, watching dispassionately as the dragon collapses to the ground, her snout inches from them.

"If I wasn't a supremely confident heterosexual male, I'd kiss you," Frank says with a bemused smile.

Garr snorts, dropping him, looking at the prone dragon as Adam scurries away, hiding under the bus stop bench behind them.

"So...we win?" Frank asks, flipping onto his feet.

"No."

"We didn't?"

Garr folds his arms over his chest, shaking his head.

"You missed, Lightbend."

"Missed?! I stabbed her _neck!_"

"You cut blood vessels and muscle! You _missed_ the spinal cord!"

The dragon slowly growls, rising to her feet. She shakes her head like a dog who just went headlong into a table, focusing her eyes as she looks over the area. Frank takes a single step back, Garr locking eyes with the dragon.

"We seem to have knocked something around in her head," Garr says, "Her growth spurts are increasing. She's thinking in _meters_, now."

"Gee, that's great. I always liked the metric system. What's she doing?"

"If it's any consolation, we are in a far better position," Garr states.

"Yeah? How?"

The dragon levels her gaze at Frank, baring all her teeth and growling angrily.

"You can run faster than the boy could."

People stare as they see a six-foot tall bipedal lizard run down Merrick Ave, screaming in terror.

And look up as the fifty-meter tall dragon stampedes down the street after him, roaring and barking.

Frank pumps his arms quickly and forcefully, feeling the vibrations of Mari's roars and the head of her gaze and the balls of fire she's firing at him every now and then.

_Great! Two inches off and suddenly I'm an extra in a Godzilla film! This is the last time I'm babysitting!_

His thoughts are cut short as a wall of flame rises several yards in front of him, Frank skidding to a halt inches before it. He turns, seeing Mari standing upright like a CGI T-Rex, angrily eyeing him.

"Um...I-I really meant to hit a little to left, if it helps," he says, smiling nervously, "Say, you wouldn't happen to be allergic to mutant android lizards, would you?"

_Biddee-beep._

Both he and the dragon look to his pocket as the ringing echoes. He reaches in, pulling out his cell phone, holding up a warding hand to the confused dragon's face as he snaps it open.

"Frank speaking."

He nods as he hears the concerned voice from the other end of the phone, absently looking up at the dragon.

"Don't worry, Mr. Light," he says, "I've got everything covered...ah, nix that."

He leaps out of the way as a massive fist slams into the ground where he was, Mari roaring as she swings her tail at him. Frank stares, like a dear in headlights at the winging, gold-scaled tendril...

And an amber blurr deflects it, the blur revealing itself to once again be Garr.

"Come after me, Dragon!" the gargoyle roars, "Show me if you can match a Guardian like you ancestors could!"

He slams both fists into the dragon's snout, the dragon roaring in rage as Garr rises into the air, flying back north, the dragon turning and following him. Frank swallows down his dry throat, wiping the sweat from his hand...and sees the cell phone still there.

_Maybe the damn things have a use, after all..._

"Mr. Light?" he asks, bringing it back up to his ear, "Could you put your wife on?"

By the time Frank had sprinted back to the shopping center where the battle was taking place, he had come to one conclusion:

Garr was officially in Bloodlust mode.

He and the dragon are exchanging blows in the middle of the street, the remaining cars in the parking lot jumping with every shared impact. The dragon is swinging around, Garr flying and taking the occassional hit from the enraged Mari, dodging many of her blows and the blasts of fire.

The strangest part was that no one was being hurt. The street was effectively evacuated, everyone inside Blockbuster and watching from the safety of the two-inch thick aquarium glass. With the exception of the teenager cowering under a bus stop bench.

Frank tightly grips the cell phone, muttering swears under his breath. He runs to the battle, climbing up one of the telephone poles and shrieking as her tail swings right by his head.

"Garr!" he screams, "Knock her down!"

Garr gives him a look, his eyes changing their glow from blue to red. He slopes back his wings, rising high into the air. And thrusts down, impacting on the ground, the shockwave causing Mari to lose her footing and fall onto her back.

Frank acts, leaping off the pole, rebounding off the display at the fueling station and landing on one of Mari's horns as the dragon begins to rise.

"You're on," he says into the phone, and places it at Mari's ear.

"_Mari, this is your mother_," the voice of Janice Light says, "_Honey, I want you to stop this at once._"

The dragon squarks...and lies back down, closing her eyes.

"_Sweetie, I know you're angry,_" the middle-aged woman at the other end continues, "_But this won't help matters. You know your father and I can help you through this. So please, just calm down and let them take care of things, and we'll deal with this all at home._"

Garr climbs to his feet, extending his arm. A plume of fire shoots out from both ends of his outstretched hand, forming into a spear as he walks over. He flips the weapon in his hand, raising it and pointing the blade at the dragon's massive heart.

"Hold still," he says, "This will...barely...hurt."

He plunges down, pulling the weapon out a fraction of a second after it enters. The dragon roars, pillars of light shooting from its punctured chest, eyes, and mouth as a glow begins to overtake the beast.

The tail whips about as it shrinks, ripping the bench from the ground, Adam curling into fetal position and whimpering. The tail retracts, the wings folding into her back as she goes down to forty meters, thirty meters, twenty meters, ten meters.

Scales return to flesh and clothing, horns folding back into her head as hair takes its place. Her eyes return to normal shape and dialation before closing, her talons returning to fingers, her claws returning to toes.

She returns to her normal, sixteen year old, 5' 8" frame, collapsing, unconscious, to the ground. Garr plants the butt of his spear into the ground, the weapon disappearing in a plume of smoke.

"She has reverted," he says.

"I'll have to agree," Frank responds, scooping up the unconscious teenager in his arms, placing the phone to his ear, "Janice? Yep, she's alright. We'll be back in an hour. Bye."

He looks around at the slightly weathered street and shopping center.

"You know," he says, "_Now_ might be the time to make an exit."

"The damage was minimal. And no lives were lost."

"Yeah. But there's also the thing about Rhodan stomping around town. Meet you back at Manhattan."

Garr nods, sweeping back his wings, rising into the air as Frank sprints across the lot...

_Ding-dong._

"Hi, welcome to Blockbuster-"

The clerk(ess) watches as the humanoid lizard quickly walks through the door, carrying an unconscious teenage girl in his arms.

"Hi," he says, smiling.

He walks around the counter, reaching over and grabbing the bag. He looks down at her nametag, and then back at her face.

"Thanks for the videos, Emily. See you Thursday!"

He walks out the exit, the door closing, followed moments later by the sound of a car starting and speeding away.

She simply stands there, for a moment. And shrugs, sighing.

"At least I get free rentals."

Mari was, naturally, horrified at what she did, although she was consoled by the fact that no one was hurt. Property damage alone, although they had to use a crowbar to pry Adam from the bench hinges he was holding onto.

The property damage wasn't a problem. Mr. Light(_Fortune's _richest man alive, net worth of $1.2 trillion) had the costs taken care of.

Most of the costs were either paid for directly, insured under the companies he owned, such as Blockbuster Video(added bonus-all superheroes working for Mr. Light get 5 free videos per month!), or under the insurance policies he had taken out for his adopted daughter, including the 'Act of God' and 'Act of Rampaging She-Beast' clauses.

So, Frank got his videos, got back to his car only to discover his holographic projector didn't work anymore, and drove back to Manhattan, giving other drivers on the parkway a little scare. After all, how often does the guy next to you have _that_ bad a complexion.

So, later that night, Frank(using a spare holomatrix, if only because he's gotten used to looking normal) came to check up on the subject of this day's latest brush with death and dismemberment.

He found Mari in her room in the Lights' three-story apartment, fuming and sobbing and generally acting miserable.

He knocks on the door, getting her attention and smiling slightly.

"Hi, Frank," she says, wrapping her arms around her legs and looking down.

"Hey, kiddo," he responds, walking over, "Look...I know how you feel."

"I nearly leveled the town. And I tried to kill you three times."

He silently counts on his fingers, and shakes his head.

"Nah, you only leveled about a fifth of the main street. And the insurance covers all of it, so your dad's not angry," he says, "And honestly, I've been through far worse stuff than what happened today. Look, about Adam..."

"Yeah."

"I know you're upset about him. I know he's not everything he was cracked up to be. But that sort of thing happens. I'm sure you're going to find someone nice and honest, someday."

She says nothing, sighing, burying herself deeper into her melancholy.

_That didn't work. Switch to Plan B._

"Yeah, that sounded like a self-help book," he says, "But, hey. Look on the bright side. You _did_ make him piss himself. Twice."

She slowly turns to him, her face one of confusion.

"How does that make me feel better?" she asks.

"You put the fear of God into him," he says, placing a reaffirming hand on her shoulder, "You probably made him vow celibacy, and made sure he'll never do that again, to _any_ girl. Because there's always the slightest, slimmest chance that they'll be just like you."

She mulls over that, for a moment. And she slightly smiles.

"You know," she says, her voice perking up somewhat, "That _does_ make me feel better."

"Nothing better than bringing the pompous down a notch, I always say," he says, patting her on the shoulder, "So don't feel bad. At least you can see him for the cowardly, pompous ass that he really is."

"Yeah. I guess. He was cute, though."

He chuckles, smiling, patting her on the head.

"And so are you," he says, "Feeling better?"

She smiles, nodding.

"A little. Thanks, Frank."

"No prob. It's what I'm here for," he says, burying his hands in his pockets, "Have a good night, kiddo."

He turns, and walks out, whistling to himself all the way.

So...he got the tapes he wanted. Means Naomi and him'll be having a nice night. Got that little prep-school bastard taken down a notch. And, he got to impress Garr, which puts him a notch higher with the other guys.

All in all...this day wasn't really that bad at all.

****

THE END


End file.
